7-29-2002

Another day has gone by. I was being productive after Mr. K’s brief visit. He came to check on the correspondence material. He asked if I was studying my Spanish. I said a little. After he left, I spent two hours studying Spanish. I need to do it daily since I have time. Mr. K will check with Ohio on the books for me.

T left early this morning. He was transferred without a warning. I hope he’ll be all right and get some actions in court.

I did a light exercise before shower in the morning. I didn’t take a nap during the day. I read the Progressive magazine. I enjoyed it.

I received my canteen. Now I have plenty to eat and dip.

G dropped by to say hi. I appreciate him for walking all the way to fifth tier to see me. I wrote a letter to N. Hopefully he’s out of INS, but I doubt it.

Since the Officer took my free write, I haven’t written. I haven’t written to J either. I’ll have to start again.

My neighbor doesn’t have anything because he’s new.  I gave him some stamped envelopes and writing paper. I’ll give him some snack and cosmetic tomorrow.

I had an all right, semi-productive day.

7-28-2002

The back of my head hurts from an elbow during a basketball game. I played three two on two games this morning on the yard. There were a couple of new people on the yard. I had fun. I met Saeteurn who’s on Walk Alone. He’s here temporarily for shoulder surgery. He’s doing a SHU (Security Housing Unit) term in Pelican Bay. He’s a lifer. We talked for a while and got to know each other. He seemed pretty cool. We exchanged some books to read.

I wrote to P about Josh’s passing. I don’t know what to say about death of a friend or family member. I thanked Pat being great friends to us. I wrote N back and thanked him for writing. I told him about my inevitable transfer. I also wrote a letter to Mom and gave her a heads up. She’ll worry, but she’ll have to accept it. I don’t like to make her worry, but I guess I wasn’t trying hard enough.

I received my 602 response from D.W. on the violation of my due process right in Ad Seg. He denied any wrongdoing of course. I’ll file it to the next level.

I talked to my neighbor for a while. We talked about his plans to be with his family and start a new life. He shared his feelings with me on dealings with his son. I wish him well and success.

I’m still being haunted by my mistakes. That will never go away. I have to learn from them. People were wind surfing on the bay. I get lost just watching them. I get my spats of freedom here and there.

7-27-2007

It’s a down day. I exercised, showered and relaxed. I didn’t do much aside from reading magazine and newspaper all day.

My mind is occupied with different thoughts. It’s difficult to concentrate at times. However, that and along with the rest of my regrets will be wash away with time.

Time is always the crucial ingredient in growing, learning and surviving.

7-26-2002

I was called for a visit at eight this morning. By the time I went to the visiting room, I was told my visit was cancelled. I don’t know whether my visitor cancelled it or the prison did. A is the only one I can think of to come see me early in the morning.

I went out to the yard and had my haircut. H gave me a little fade. It was cold out until the sun came out. I didn’t exercise. I kicked it with the guys and the Walk Alones. I did lots of talking. It felt good getting some fresh air.

I took a nap after lunch. G passed by to say hi. The rest of the day I read the newspaper. My neighbor’s gone so no more daily papers. I’m feeling pretty good under the circumstances.

I received a letter from N. He told me about A’s bike riding experience. It’s good to hear from him. A is riding without training wheels. Sis is busy as ever. J last letter from Beijing arrived. Her wallet was stolen. She’s been doing some reflection on her future staying in Beijing with her partner. Beijing is not a place for her to live and maximize her potential. I’ll write to her about it.

I need some rest.

7-25-2002

I got down early to do my exercised. I had a good night sleep because I was tired. I had a dream about being at another place. It was wired because I saw M’s wife. Anyway, I had a good sweat. I still can’t do the whole workout yet. It’s not easy at all.

ISU got me for interview about quarter to eight. It was never pleasant. I was called a liar and uncooperative. There’s no more to talk about. They’ll write up a report when they’re done. I’ll have to face the music.

I didn’t get to shower today so I was smelly all day. I went to law library to do some research for the denial. The AG sent me the Return finally. He asked the judge to dismiss the whole thing. I sent the Return to my attorney to let him handle it. I should be able to argue the Return, but I need access to my legal work. We’ll see.

J sent me a letter from home. She’s back from a month. I’ll write to her before she leaves again.

I had a good talk with my neighbor. The night disappeared into darkness.

7-24-2002

It’s a down day. I was expecting a visit from CC, but he didn’t visit me. He did visit Rico.

The morning went by quickly. I started to write my vignette in the afternoon, but I was escorted to ISU for interview. The whole thing took almost three hours. Lt. N and Sgt. M interviewed me. I didn’t consent to be recorded during the interview. I shouldn’t have talk to them at all, but I did. They will use what I said against me. They intercepted and copied the letter S wrote to me and the once I wrote to her. They tried to read something into our correspondence. They might call me back tomorrow. I don’t know what to expect.

I wrote to CC and W to give them an update. I hope CC will come visit me. I didn’t want to say too much in the letter.

I just received a card from P. She informed me that Josh died on 7/14. After thirty seven years he finally received his liberation from this earth. He paid for his debt and more. Now, he has to be in a better place. I respect his will to keep his dignity until the end. I’m glad that we’re friends. C must’ve taken the news pretty hard since she’s the only one who was closed to Josh. I wish her well. Maybe I’ll get to see her soon and talk to her.

7-23-2002

The day went by so fast that I missed a day. I thought it was Wednesday. Yard was cancelled this morning, but the Officers never bothered to tell us. There was no reason to cancel yard except for the Lieutenant can do it.

I took a nap and started writing. I ended up doing a few yoga exercises. G dropped by briefly since he was in the area

I received a letter from B and Mom. I was smiling ear to ear after reading Mom’s letter. It’s good to know that she’s doing well. She sent me 20 stamps. I know how much she loves me. I wrote her back and tell her about A’s visit. B wrote her longest letter to me. She expressed her feelings on the negative comment I’ve got from Mr. W. I appreciate her support for me. I wrote to K and gave her a brief update. She’ll be shocked. I sent the letter to A along with the visiting form. I told him to go visit Mom when he has a chance. I was going to write the vignette on showers, but I didn’t. Hopefully I’ll be able to finish it by Thursday so I can make copies and edit it.

I ate good tonight. I’m still full right now. I drank a lot of colored water. I appreciate the food. I wish I could have some rice with fish and some ice cold soda. I like the food to be hot. That would be a treat.

I chatted with my neighbor for awhile. It helped break up the time. I had a happy day.

7-22-2002

I finished my autobiography poem. I’ll let my editor read it and see if he likes it. It felt good to get it done. I hope I’ll continue to write more creative pieces. SB from the Office of the Inspector General’s interviewed me. The interview was recorded and lasted about 15 minutes. She asked about the seizure of my legal material and the college proposal. I asked her office to investigate on the prison’s retaliation and violation of my rights. I’m glad that she’s doing something about it. I hope it will help my situation. Rico was also interviewed. I was too disoriented. I wished I was more relaxed.

G came by and we shared some experiences with meditation. I enjoyed talking to him.

I received five letters today. I was a happy camper. Lil Sis, A, B, K and J’s letter arrived. The letter average 10 days to get to me. The letters all expressed love and support for my situation. I felt loved. I wrote Lil Sis back and thanked her. I sent a 602 to the visiting to get some English visiting applications. A wants to come visit me with Yuri. He lives 4 blocks away from Mom’s house. It’s good to finally hear from him.

I stayed busy today. I didn’t get a chance to take a nap. I worked out early before shower. Canteen arrived this morning. I’m stocked up with snacks and food. I’m all set for another month. I’m feeling good.

7-21-2002

It was windy and cold on the yard. I played a game of basketball with the youngster. He’s 21 years old and out of shape physically and mentally. I’ll do what I can to get him back on track. It’s always good being out of the cell. I talked to Blue for awhile. He talks too much, but he’s right on point on things.

I’m almost finished with my poem. I spent some time working on it.

I wrote to Yuri, B and P. They’ll be glad to hear from me. I want to keep up with my writing.

The days are going by. I’m conscious of it. I just don’t know what the future holds for me.

7-20-2002

I worked on my autobiography poem for a couple of hours. It’ll take a couple of more drafts before it’s finished. It’s more difficult for me to write without a computer. I have been spoiled too long.

I did a light workout this morning before shower. The rest of the day I read magazine and newspaper. I ate a lot today just because I have the food. I took a couple of naps. The day just disappeared.

I have so much more writings to do. Hopefully I’ll get what I needed to do tomorrow finish. I didn’t get a good night sleep because Jay the mentally challenged guy talked to himself in maximum volume for three, four hours. That dude is loud. I feel sorry for him even though he’s very disturbing. All I can do is laugh.

7-19-2002

We have had some consistency with the yard schedule for the past week. Let’s see how long that’ll last. I exercised on the yard after the sun came out. I shot some baskets and did leg exercises. I enjoyed the time outdoor.

The rest of the day I spent on reading. I didn’t do much of anything else.

I received a letter from P. She read my story and liked it. She’s outraged at the fact that I’m in the hole. She’s very supportive of me. Yuri sent me her visiting form and a few words. She said the visiting form was returned to her, so was M’s. I don’t know why, unless they sent them to the wrong area. I’ll try to handle the application for her. Yuri is only visiting one other person, Marilyn Buck in Dublin. I feel very honored that she would want to come see me. I hope I do get to meet her at least once.

It’s time for me to move on to a different level of consciousness. I’m ready to do my thing to go home and be able to maximize my potential to make a difference in society.

7-18-2002

A surprised me by coming up to visit at 8 o’clock this morning. I got up early to exercise. I couldn’t do all the counts on the burpees yet, but I was sweating profusely. After I ate breakfast, I was called for the visit at 7:45.

As I walked to the East Block visiting, I walked pass the yard for Death Row inmates. I saw Charles Ng (a mass murder) standing by himself with a blank look on his face.

After I sat down in the room waiting for visitors, I observed the East Block visiting set up. The visitors are locked in a cage when they visit. I’ll write about that experience in a vignette form. It was good to see A. She cared enough to come see me. I kept her updated on my situation. We visited for about an hour and fifteen minutes. She said she’ll be back to see me. She subscribed The Sun magazine for me. I haven’t got it yet. I appreciate her support for me.

G came by briefly while Rico and I waited for the law library. We went to the library and did some research for appealing his 115. We were able to talk for awhile. I read through some sections in the Prisoner’s Handbook. I’ve learned a lot of legal stuff so far. Mr. J helped with the books. It’s good just chatting with him.

I finally got a letter from Mom. She laid a guilt trip on me. I know she’s going through some issues with Sis and Bro’s activities with work. She needs to talk to me about it. Everyone’s doing all right. She didn’t write sooner because she wanted to wait for after she called J and Sis call my attorney. Sis is in China on business. I know she’s busy. I sent Andrew a bday card and told him I love him. I sent Mom and Dad a happy anniversary card. I also sent Mom a short letter to let her know that all is fine with me.

Time went by too quick so I didn’t get a chance to respond to J’s letter. I’m getting tired.

Support the Pelican Bay Prisoners’ Demand for Human Rights

The 5 Core Demands

1. End “group punishment” where an individual prisoner breaks a rule and prison officials punish a whole group of prisoners of the same race.
2. Abolish “debriefing” and modify active/inactive gang status criteria. False and/or highly questionable “evidence” is used to accuse prisoners of being active/inactive members of prison gangs who are then sent to the SHU where they are subjected to long-term isolation and torturous conditions. One of the only ways these prisoners can get out the SHU is if they “debrief”—that is, give prison officials information on gang activity.
3. Comply with recommendations from a 2006 U.S. commission to “make segregation a last resort” and “end conditions of isolation.”
4. Provide Adequate Food. Prisoners report unsanitary conditions and small quantities of food. They want adequate food, wholesome nutritional meals including special diet meals and an end to the use of food as a way to punish prisoners in the SHU.
5. Expand and provide constructive programs and privileges for indefinite SHU inmates—including the opportunity to “engage in self-help treatment, education, religious and other productive activities…” which are routinely denied. Demands include one phone call per week, one photo per year, 2 packages a year, more visiting time, permission to have wall calendars, and sweat suits and watch caps (warm clothing is often denied even though cells and the exercise cage can be bitterly cold).

7-16-2002

Today I was out of my cell the longest since I’ve been in here. I didn’t even get a chance to take a nap as I normally would. It was chili and overcast this morning. I was out on the yard for about 4 hours. I walked, played ball, and did some crunches. It was too cold. This is the first time we got yard consistently. Time goes by faster that way.

Then I went to the law library for 2 ½ hours. I was able to make some copies and did some research. I need to get ready to file a return to the AG’s return. I’ll have to go back on Thursday. I found out the library schedule is very chaotic. Rico didn’t make it cause he didn’t turn in any request form. We’ll be going on Thursday if all is smooth.

I received my Harper magazine. I have way too much to read. I will share with others of course. I wrote CC an update letter. I hope I’m not being a pest. I wrote N a letter and told him my concerns. I asked him to write me back. G came by to say hi. He’s been doing a lot of climbing of stairs. I asked him to get me a bday card from the chapel.

After dinner, I worked on my autobiography poem. I’m not writing the natural way. I brainstorm and write down things that came to my mind. I’ll organize them later. I started to brainstorm on another poem. Hopefully I can have two first draft poems written. I have to make it happen. I need to write an article on my current situation.

My pain has lessened. I should be ready to workout again on Thursday. It’s been a good day. It’s time to relax and read today’s USA paper. I got some 3 cent stamps It’ll hold me for awhile.

7-15-2002

No incoming or outgoing mail. I took two Ibuprofens (800 mg) before I went to sleep last night. They helped lessened my muscle pain. I had a better sleep and I dreamt. I didn’t exercise today before shower. I allowed my body to rest and heal so I can workout intensely.

I read, slept, and read. I waited until night time to brainstorm on writing my autobiography poem. I read the Hikmet poems to draw inspiration. I had many ideas brewing. I need to spend more time thinking and writing. It’s time to get creative. I have wasted enough days.

There is no new about anything. It’s all about the waiting. I put in my canteen list for 2^nd draw. I got some food items to keep me fed well. I need to stay healthy.

 

7-14-2002

This is the third day that my deltoids are in excruciating pain. I really overworked my shoulder muscles. I couldn’t move without feeling the pain. I went to the yard and jog and did some leg excises. I want to let my shoulder muscles to be healed before I team them up again. I did my Yoga exercise in the sun. It felt good, but I drew a lot of attention. My body is in good form. That naturally draws attention. I enjoyed my yard time.

I rested and read in the afternoon. I wrote to CC about the second anti-retaliation letter. I’m overwhelming him with all the paperwork and letters. I submitted another citizen’s complaint and asked for an Internal Affairs investigation in this whole matter. I don’t know what happened to the first one that I’d filed. I never got an answer. I hope this one will get processed.

I haven’t written to J or anyone. I’ll just wait til I have some news. I want this thing to be over with so I can start a fierce campaign for my freedom. My creative drive has been dry. What will it take for me to get it wet again?

Time is flying by.

 

7-13-2002

I couldn’t move without feeling the intense pain in my deltoids. I went to bed early last night and was tossing and turning all night because of the pain. I had a dream that I can’t quite remember except of this lady name Tutu. I got up to do my exercise despite the pain since it’s shower day. It felt good after I warmed up and got a little pump.

I read the newspaper and Legacy to Liberation and the Turning Wheel. I didn’t do much of anything. Somehow the day just passed on by. I thought about writing , but didn’t do it. I wanted to think about the investigation, but I didn’t want to worry about something I have no control of. I’ll wait til I’m ready. I will call it a day.

 

Bonding

I wasn’t feeling well today, so my boss dropped me off at the Bart station so I can go home and rest. I took a nap and felt better.

Since I was home early, I was able to have dinner with my twelve year old nephew, who is home alone. He wanted to go eat alone because he wanted to play the computer. I asked him to stay to finish eating first. He listened. After we ate, we started talking about random things. He showed me one of his Facebook pages. I was amazed to find out that he has 5,000FB friends and 91 more friend requests. That is totally crazy. What are those teenagers doing? I need to look into that. So my nephew teaches me about FB fan page and Twitter and encourages me to create one for myself. I told him I would consider it. I was able to spend 3 hours alone with him, the longest ever. I appreciate that.

7-12-2002

My body is sore from the cell workout yesterday as anticipated. I could feel the soreness every time I move my upper body. I did way too much and now I’m paying for it.

I feel sleepy right now. So I’m turning in early tonight. There was yard this morning until an institution recalled. The yard was cut short. I had an opportunity to get my hair cut by H. It took a while, but he did an all right job. It could’ve been better, but I appreciated. It will hold me for a month or two.

It was overcastted and chill outside. I was able to talk to my amigo for a couple of hours. I know it’s tough for him during this struggle. I wish him well.

G dropped him by and showed me the letter he wrote to Mr. W. It was an all right letter. He mistaken my age of arrest. I showed him the letter I wrote and gave him the article to read. It’s nice of him to drop by

Dinner was late due to the lockdown. It was burritos tonight so it was fulfilling. I read the USA today and Coastal Post paper. It had some good article to it. I received the second BOC letters. I will send them to CC Tuesday when I’m able to make copies.

Mr. J responded to my 602. He said I could’ve just dropped a note. If that was the case, he should have scheduled me earlier after I turned in the request weekly. I hope to straight things out when I see him.

No letters from Mom still or anyone else. I can’t trip about any of that anymore. Right now, I don’t know how long I’m going to be here, but it looks like it’ll be awhile. The administration is blowing this way out of proportion. It’s very plain and simple, but the police mentality will not accept it. There’s nothing I can do. The truth will come out.

 

7-11-2002

My shoulders are sore from the intense workout I did with the Latinos. I was sweating profusely from doing the different exercises. I couldn’t keep up with “Little.” I ended up doing about 500 push-ups and kicks. I haven’t done that much in years. My body is feeling it. It’ll get worse tomorrow. I need to get use to the exercises first before I can keep up. I hated it when I was doing it, but I felt good once it’s finished.

I still didn’t make it to the law library. The 602 was returned to me to send it to the first level. I gave it to the law library Officer.

I still haven’t heard from Mom.

Father O sent me a postcard from Maui. I received the Turning Wheel and a postcard from D. I received the Boninas paper H sent. I got a copy of my motion back. I got a notice form the Board of Control. It’s rejected. I have to pursue it later. I wrote to D and told her about my feelings on the weekly article. I told her to ask B.Y. for details of my retreat if she wants

I wrote a letter to a prisoner in China who is being mistreated by the guards and Chinese government. I sent her a card to let her know that I support her.

I did some reading, but not enough. I have too much to read now. I need to read and write.

There is no news on my status. It’s all about waiting. I gave Little the Fortune News magazine. He can share it with others.

 

7-10-2002

I slept most of the morning away with the two mentally challenged guys yelling for hours.

I didn’t receive any regular mail. Still no word from Mom.

Officer T dropped off some property. They were seized from me on 6/13. There was no itemization of the returned property. T kept 13 books in the Hot property. He gave me 3 books, Legacy to Liberation, God of Small Things and Chinamen. ISU (Investigative Security Unit) still kept some of my photos, letters and paperwork. I documented the incident. One of the letters was from B. They didn’t forward it to me after they intercepted my mail. I wondered how much more mail ISU kept from me.

G came by and dropped off three books. We talked for awhile. I showed the letter from Mr. W (a person who read the SF Weekly feature article on and wrote a harsh letter) with him. He suggested that I don’t write back to him. He’ll write to him. I thought about it and decided to write a short letter. I wrote to Mr. W and sent him the poem I wrote for Mom. I hope he’ll accept my feedback. I was being very careful to avoid agitate him. I didn’t want to neglect his letter.

I wrote to CC and sent him a copy of my documentation on the property issue. I informed him of my speculation on the possible political tie. KW sent me back the copy of my AG (Attorney General) report for extension. He didn’t bother to write anything.

The cop F scanned my legal mail before she signed. I told her that she shouldn’t do that. She didn’t believe me. I’ll show her the Title 15 tomorrow. She’s violating procedures.

I wrote to J about my reaction after getting my property back. I read a letter she wrote to me in October 2001. It helped lift my spirit.

I have plenty to read and a lot of writing materials. I need to get busy writing. Somehow my mind is not focus. I don’t know why. I do need to break this drought. Somebody help me!

 

7-9-2002

There is no consistence in the Ad Seg program. As I waited for yard release, the Officers were having a different agenda. They decided to do a building search on a yard day. So they went cell to cell to search.

I left for an attorney visit at around 10:10. I saw L for the first time as I walked by the upper yard. CC was visiting four clients today so I had to wait. The Officer turned the radio up so I can hear the music. It was the first time in a month since I heard music. I enjoyed the oldies sons that were playing. I wrote to J as I listened to the music. I waited an hour before I talked to CC. He gave me an update with everything. He told me B came up to see me, but was turned away. He has a good spirit about him. I asked him to call Sis to let them know that I’m all right. I appreciate his help.

I received two letters from CC. One was delayed because it was “mistakenly” processed as regular mail. I didn’t get the anti-retaliation draft letter on time. The other was copies of writing. I need to start writing myself.

Ohio State sent me a letter about the class. It said I’m talking Psy 221. I think Mr. K is trying to get me to do it so he can accumulate stats. I wrote Ohio back and ask it to double check.

I wrote to B and told her about the visiting schedule and the fan mail. George Warren wrote a negative letter on the Weekly article. I have to write him back tomorrow. I didn’t feel good reading the letter. I wrote to CC and thanked him for seeing me.

The night moved on. I also received the Fortune News magazine.

 

SHU – Human Rights Violation

As I share my reflections on my experience in solitary confinement, people in the SHU (Security Housing Units) of America’s Prison Industrial Complex (PIC) are living the reality of torture and dehumanization daily. The hunger strike in California’s prisons by those brave souls in the SHU are taking a stand for themselves and others by bringing the much needed attention on the prison system’s human right violation.

Please help support the prisoners’ effort in creating changes in the PIC regarding SHU. http://prisonerhungerstrikesolidarity.wordpress.com/

7-8-2002

It’s almost bed time. I’m sore from yesterday’s exercise on the yard. I got up early to do a light exercise. Surprisingly I got a good sweat.

I finished reading the Japanese book. There was book exchange, but I didn’t get any good books. The selection was poor. If you don’t know someone who will trade with you, you’re out of luck. G dropped by to say hi. We chatted for awhile. He saw the Correction’s book.

I received two books today. It was sent in May. It took awhile to get to me. I received a letter from Taiwan. CL got out and was deported to his country. He finally got his freedom. I wrote him back. M sent me a card. She’s consistent in writing me even though she just writes a few lines. I wrote her back and told her what happened.

I still haven’t heard from Mom. What’s up with that?

I have been eating a lot consistently. Hopefully I’m maintaining my weight and shape.

 

7-7-2002

I wonder if J is back in the States right now. She’ll have plenty to read about once she get my letter.

What’s going on with Mom and the family? They’re probably doing well. I just can’t get used to them being so detached from me. It’s a good quality in a way, but I still would like to hear from them.

Finally, there was yard for today. It was beautiful outside. I shot some baskets and workout. I had a good sweat and pump. I’m getting in good shape. I had two hours of sunshine. It felt good.

I overslept this morning because I stayed up last night. I slept for two hours after I got back and ate lunch

I wrote a letter to CC and gave him an update and asked him to forward my info to my counsel. I submitted a 602 for denying my access to law library. I sent the letter out to lil sis.

The day went by fast. If there is any program consistency, the days would go by faster. I’m reading the book by the Japanese author. It’s a good read. I’m writing to get The Wretch of the Earth.

Another week has begun.

 

7-6-2002

Another day went by quickly. I have been staying consistent in exercising on shower days. It helps to discipline myself to stay in shape.

I spoke to Rico briefly. He went to committee on Friday. He was put up for transfer because they said he might escape. What a lame exercise to get rid of him! I can’t imagine what’s been going through his mind. I hope God will protect him and let him go home.

I did some folding of paper hearts. It’s a good way to practice concentration and pass time. I made enough to make heart shape around the greeting card.

Officer F delivered a rerouted letter to me. It was post marked June 12. It took twenty five days for me to get it. The administration is messing with my mail. It’s ridiculous. I hate what they’re doing, but I can’t get upset about it. My little sister wrote me in Chinese. I appreciate her concern. I wrote her a five page letter to update her on my situation. May she be well.

I’m staying up way too late. Hopefully I’ll get yard tomorrow.

 

7-5-2002

I realized that the administration is denying my access to the law library. I believe J.B. is behind all this because she saw Mike, Rico and I come back from the law library on June 20^th. Despite my weekly request, I have not made it to the law library. That is another form of retaliation.

Yard was cancelled again. It’s normal routine every week. I only had 6 hours of exercise time out of 23 days. The staff just keeps on violating my rights. They do it because they’ve been getting away with it.

I still haven’t received a response concerning the violation of my due process right. I think the administration is concocting a conspiracy against me because I exercise my right to challenge its illegal policies. The truth will come out at the end. It needs to be held responsible.

I still have not heard from my family or folks I expect to hear from. I hope they’re well.

I had a good sweat after a light exercise. I took a Birth Bath and ate dinner. I dozed off for a few minutes and I felt a strong sense of loneliness. It’s a feeling of being depressed. It only lasted about a minute. I shook it off. That was not the first time I felt that way since I’ve been here. I hope I don’t feel it again.

I wrote a short reflection to J. I’m writing a little to her each day. I’ll send it to her when I know where she is.

I hope Mike is doing well in New Folsom. He’s Mom must’ve been worried. The heartaches we put our Moms through is immeasurable.

 

7-4-2002

Tonight’s diner was the best since I’ve been in Ad Seg. It’s the holiday meal to celebrate the stealing of people’s land, genocide of Native American and oppression of people of color.

I exercised, ate breakfast and showered. That’s my morning routine on shower days.

The days are going by fast. I wrote a few letters to people. I wrote to Mom and Sis to keep them updated on my situation. I wrote to Moe to let him know I understand his concern. I wrote to KW and keep him updated. I wrote to CC and thanked him for assisting us. I told him about KW letter. Hopefully there is no conflict. I sent the opposition to ex parte for extension to the court. I appreciate my counsel for his continued support. He took care of business. I hope the judge will take action this time.

It’s been a good day. I studied the United Front Points of Unity.

 

7-3-2002

Still no word from Mom so things must be all right.

It’s late at night and this African American brother is talking to himself. He’s smart and very articulate, but he is mentally disturbed. He had experienced some traumatic experience as a child. His Dad was illiterate and scolded him when he asked him to correct his reading. That affected him for life. I feel sorry for him and wish I could help under difference circumstances.

The day went by quickly. I read the USA Today and Kafka.

I wrote to J. I’ll send the letter to her when I know she’s back in China.

KW finally wrote a short note to me. He sent a letter to the warden asking about the investigation and possible transfer. CC also sent a letter to the warden. It’s a six page document concerning the retaliation and violation of our rights. The document was very detailed and well written. It’s the group complaint on the administration. The warden, Chief Deputy and CRM (Community Resource Manager) will get a copy. I’m glad that the attorneys are acting on our behalf. Their effort will help in our situation.

I haven’t received any letters from folks that I’m expecting to hear from. I know that they’re trying to protect me. I appreciate them. I still haven’t start writing creatively. It’ll come when I want to.

“Little” gave me five 37 cent envelops. He looked out for me since I’ve been here. That’s a blessing.

My body’s sore from exercising yesterday. I’ll workout in the morning before shower.

I’m doing well and eating well.

 

7-2-2002

It’s late. I had to stop writing to J because my eyes are setting tired and my hand starts to cramp. I did some writings that required me to put time into thinking. J will have plenty to read about when she gets my letter. I received a letter from her tonight after eight thirty. It was rerouted to me from North Block. The letter was opened and read by some nosey C/O. I hate that. No respect for self. J sent a photo of her and her partner.

I received K’s response to my letter to her. She’s cool with me writing to her. She shared some thoughts of her view on how she deals with “the system” with me. I wrote her back and gave her my thoughts. We’ll be having some interesting correspondence.

I wrote to Yuri and share the news with her. She’ll be concerned but supportive. I know we’ll meet one day.

CC sent the AG’s copy back to me. He also sent me a postcard to give me a brief update on my motion. I appreciate his help.

I went to yard for the first time. It was windy and overcastted outside. I talked to Smoke for awhile and had a good dialogue. P talked too much. There were only five people on 2 yard. I shot some baskets and exercised. Rico was in Walk Alone for an hour. We talked for awhile. He’s been found guilty of his 115. That’s ridiculous. He’ll eventually beat it. G dropped by to say hi.

The day went by quickly. My mail is late and being read and I don’t like it. I still haven’t from Mom. What a trip!

 

Tolerance

My 12 year old nephew asked me this morning, “Uncle Eddy, were you robbed last night by a Black guy?”

I said yes and briefly shared with him what had transpired.

He inquired, “How come it’s happening to our family? MaMa (grandma) got robbed by a Black guy, you got robbed by a Black guy and Daddy got robbed by a Black guy.”

I said, “Sometimes desperate people do desperate things. This did not just happen to our family. It happened to our neighbors also. There’re many reasons why things happened.”

Before I can say more, he went back to playing with his dog and puppy.

7-1-2002

It’s my shower day so I got an early start on my exercise. It felt good as always. I showered and ate breakfast. The cop surprised me by asking, “Shower or cigarette?” I couldn’t understand him at first until he explained. He has a bag of rolled cigarettes on him. If someone chooses the cigarette he will give up his shower. I asked why he did that. He said, “That way I don’t have to shower that many people. The sooner I finished the sooner I can go to my little room and sit down.” What a job!

I folded some heart shape origami to decorate the cell. It’s one way to pass time. Mr. K came by to visit. He wanted to check on my correspondence course status. He just got back from vacation and heard that I was in Ad Seg. The rumor he got was that I was caught with weapon. I laughed out loud when he said that. That’s the first rumor I heard so far.

I was hoping to receive some letters in the afternoon, but I didn’t. I felt disappointed and started to wonder why. Then I had to let it go because is out of my control. There’s no need for me to stress about it. I wrote to J a bit. I won’t send the letter out until I hear from her.

I had a long talk with “Little”. He’s a good neighbor. I saw people rolling boats and wind surfing on the bay. They were having fun.

After the Officer picked up mail, the other lady Officer gave me two letters. One is from Yuri and the other from J. It was too late for me to respond to the letters. The reason they were late was they were rerouted to me from North Block. The letters were opened. Instead of giving them to me right away the Officer decided to read them first. That delayed my chance to write a letter. Yuri and M (a sister) wants to visit me tomorrow or the next day. They sent in the visiting forms. They don’t know that it takes 4-6 weeks for the form to be approved. I won’t be able to see them anytime soon. M is going to China in a few days. I will miss meeting her this time around. Hopefully faith will brings us together again. Yuri sent me a group letter since she’s behind on her correspondence. She writes a few lines on the margins. She also sent me a couple of pamphlets. I appreciate her for caring about me.

I want to maintain the sense of peace I have during the last couple of weeks and extend it to my future. I want to overcome this obstacle and start over.