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12-2-2002

» Reflections

It’s been a long day. I got up debating whether I should shower or not. I recited my closing statement. Then I decided to shower. I was ready for the parole hearing.

I felt peaceful inside. I read the newspaper, took a nap, recited the closing a couple of times. I remembered a song about peace and love. I sang that for a few times and felt peace. I mediated and did the fire of breath. I made myself lunch. Finally, at around 12:30, Officer E escorted me to the board room.

The officer in the broad room asked what was I doing in Ad Seg. They were shocked to see me there. I waited in a 2 x 3 cage. CS was there for his hearing. We talked briefly. He came out after 40 minutes. He just hopes he doesn’t get a two years denial. I talked to him about his health and other topic. I talked to his attorney AS for a few minutes.  It took a while for the deliberation. I told CS that he’ll either get a date or a split decision. I found out later on he got a split decision. Good for him.

I talked to my attorney KW at about 3:10. We went over the 115 issue and my request for postponing the hearing pending appeal. We agreed that we’re ready. He was dressed sharp in his suit.

The camera crew showed up. We were mic. Around 3:45, we stated the hearing. I’d never seen the commissioners Mr. R and Deputy Commissioner L. We went through our normal procedures. Then got into my crime. Mr. R didn’t ask me too many questions. I did my best to talk about the crime and expressed my remorse. I was thrown off by their lack of questioning. Mr. L went into the self-help and my 115. He harped on the 115. I explained to him my version of the situation. KW asked for a postponement if they’re going to use the 115 to deny my parole. They didn’t go for it. We talked about my parole plan and support. I had 27 support letters. However, they didn’t want to read them into the record. I asked them to do so, but Mr. R refused. KW did a great job on the closing statement. He made sure to state the legal aspect of their decision cannot base on my crime. He covered what the board neglected to mentioned. I made my statement. I felt rehearsed and stiff until the end. I was able to cover all that I wanted to say. I got choked up at the last couple of sentences. We stopped for deliberation.

The commissioners asked to use the phone. Five minutes later, they were ready for a decision. They decided to continue the hearing until my appeal on the 115 is finalized. Mr. L felt that it was an important factor in deciding my suitability. They’ll probably see me in about 2 months. That’s a good sign. It’s what I wanted at first. It’s a small victory for me. By the time I go back, the 115 should get dismissed. Maybe a couple of my Ad Seg issues will be heard by then. My lawyer will be happy. I asked KW if he will help me with my Ad Seg issues. He said yes. I’ll have to confer with my friend first.

Officer D gave me a rundown on what he thought about my hearing. He was very observant. I got back to the cell around 5:45. I felt good and a little excited about my chances and my future. I want to be home next year. I couldn’t eat my dinner right away because I was pumped.

I received a letter from the Attorney General asking for a 45 days extension on the second order dealing with my Ad Seg detainment. I got my Harper’s magazine for December. I didn’t get my November issue.

I wrote to J and told her what happened. I sent a bday card to Alton. He won’t be able to read it, but his Mom will read it. I hope she appreciates my gesture to reach out to Alton. I wrote to KW and gave him some information I got from the C/O. He’ll be glad to hear that. I wrote to A and thanked her and her crew for being there. I’m sure she’ll let G know what had transpired. I wrote to Mom, but it was too late to send the letter out. I asked KW to call Sis. She’ll tell Mom what happened.

I thank all the Gods, people and spirits who are looking out for me. All the prayers paid off. I shall be released.

12-1-2002

» Reflections

The night before the big day – my parole hearing. There will be drama. There will also be many people praying for me. I’m ready for whatever the outcome. I don’t feel nervous right now. I recited the closing statement for a few times. I will do my best to respond to all questions in detail.

I went to the yard. It was cold out. I played some basketball and did 5 Brown Eagle exercises. I felt good. I ate and took a nap. I’m going to relax tonight.

May my future be bright and may I be home soon. All praise to the creator.

11-30-2002

» Reflections

The end of the month brought me some unpleasant feeling. What started out to be a wonderful day ended up on a low note. I was informed that I had a visit at 12:30. I was happy to know that. I wonder who would be coming to see me. The surprise of seeing a friend adds t the excitement. I did a little reviewing of my paperwork until time for the visit. After I got to the visiting room, I had a feeling that no one would show up. I thought about many reasons why my visitor hasn’t show up. After 30 minutes, I gave up tripping about it. I sat there from 12:20 to 1:30. I was disappointed that no one showed up. I don’t know why my visitor didn’t show up or who that may be. I don’t like to be let down and set up, even it’s unintentionally.

I took a nap after I got back and woke up feeling low. I wrote to J about it. I finished writing my closing statement for board. I hope I’ll be able to speak it from the heart. My mind is blank in a way. I don’t know what to expect in the hearing. I’ll go with it. May the Gods look out for me.

11-29-2002

» Reflections

It’s was bitterly cold outside. My hands were freezing even after I walked for over an hour.

It felt like weekend. I was hoping for a visit and S showed up about 9:35. She had to go change because she had a half shirt on underneath her black sweat. We had a great time talking about new developments and our feelings about life and our transformations. She thinks very highly of me. I’m grateful to have her as my friend. She brings inspiration and love in my life. She’s been there for me. Our friendship blossomed in the past few months.

Her friend is struggling to come up with a way to break off her relationship without hurting the friendship. She’s having internal battles. It’s difficult for her because she has no one to talk to that will understand her reasoning. I asked her to hold off for a while until the right timing. We need to stick with each right now. Young people have so much to learn about relationships. They often get overwhelmed by the moments and make rushed decisions. I t doesn’t mean that their intentions were not genuine. They just have to experience more things and learn. I hope she’s all right.

I know my friend will feel the hit and break, but he’ll overcome. I feel very close to S. We were able to bond without limitation mentally. Her parents live in Oregon.

The writer C wants to write something about our plight. I’ll have to get my article done next week and shoot it out. It’s crucial that I write about what happened from the heart. People will understand more coming from me.

We were able to have some extra time to visit. S left at 11:15. She’ll visit W on Sunday. That’ll be a surprise and cool visit.

I went out to the yard afterward and did a few quick sets of Brown Eagle. I got pumped quick.

I wrote to J about Zheng He and Chinese history

I wanted to write my article and closing speech, but I didn’t feel like it. I wanted to get ready for the hearing, but I realized that I’m ready and I‘ve been ready. It’s all about speaking from the heart and be mindful in the delivery.

The Gods are looking out for me. The people will be praying for me. I will be victorious. I should be release! May my family and friends be happy and healthy. May Rico, Mike and Stephen be strong in their conviction to fight for their rights. We will overcome and win.

11-28-2002

» Reflections

It’s Thanksgiving. I have plenty to be thankful for. In Ad Seg, it’s just another day.

I read through some of the old support letters from friends over the years. I felt encouraged by their comments.

I wrote to J about how I felt about being let down by friends She’ll feel guilty and respond to my writing.

Another day closer to the hearing.