2-17-2003

I haven’t been sick like this in a long time. I went to sleep early last night. I took a Diphenhydramine for my sinus. However, my body experienced the chills and hot all night. I had dreams. My lower back’s hurting. I was tossing and turning. It was a rough night. I felt much better today.

I drank water and ate fruits. Ma’s insecurity and paranoia made him hear voices. He thinks people look down on him. He worries about what others thing of him. He has low self-esteem. He asked me if I thought he was a burden and look down on him. I had to reassure him that I’m here for him. I suggested that he do yoga and chant the mantra for of Goddess of Compassion. I know I can help him. I feel responsible and sympathetic to him.

I wrote a short letter to B. I wrote Anmol and gave him my thoughts on the function of the committee. He’ll like my inputs. I got some postage today. I talked to Ma for a while. He needs someone to talk to. I need to rest for another day before I can get better. Hopefully I’ll be well tomorrow. May the creator continued to bless me and my family.

2-16-2003

When D told me that I have a visit at 9:30, I couldn’t believe it. I went out to the yard and talked to T. He showed me his 115 adjudication. It’s obvious that the Lieutenant fabricated statements to justify finding him guilty. He also received a 128G stating the reason why he’s to be locked up again. Officer M was upset that T was out of the hole. I asked him if he’s going to appeal the 115. He said yes, but he’s not doing anything until he goes to another prison. I told him he has t make sure he meets the time constraints and exhaust the administrative remedy. He has a different way of thinking. Though he told me that he’s innocent, I don’t believe him a hundred percent. He swore to God that he’s telling the truth, but he’s not a practicing Christian.

I taught Ma how to do the Sun Salutation. He’s slow, but he caught on after a while. He has a glazed look in his eyes. It was cold, but nice outside after the rain. It was a beautiful day for the anti-war march. I went to my visit at 9:25.

Roger was waiting when I got there. He was early. We talked about politics, family, friendship and work. He talks a lot so I listen. He taught me about the oil situation in Taiwan, China, Japan and the US. I had some good laughs. He’s thinking about quitting his job and finding another one. He has no time for himself. His Dad’s bday was on 2/14. He left at 11. I appreciate him.

I was lucky. I had 3 visits this week. What a blessing!

I have a cold. Somehow I caught it from someone. I think it’s Ma when I fish with him. I don’t feel well. I need to rest. I didn’t do anything, but slept in the afternoon. Ma woke me up and said he’s hearing voice. He said the voice told him to get out. He took a red pill. It’s the first time he heard voices since he been in Ad Seg. I had to talk to him and take his mind away from the present. We talked about our childhood in China. We chatted until dinner time. He felt better afterward.

I didn’t feel well physically, but I forced myself to listened and talk to Ma. I read the newspaper and ate and chatted with Ma some more. Big homie hooked me up with the legal fee. That’s cool. I don’t’ want to keep pestering him. I’m turning in early tonight. Hopefully I’ll feel better tomorrow. May god look out for me.

2-15-2003

I got up, did yoga, showered and at breakfast. I was expecting Anmol to come see me at 12:30. Ma moved in to 37. Now I can help him out more. We talked for a long time. He told me that he attempted to commit suicide for a few months after he was arrested. He couldn’t handle the time and started to hear voices. Since he’s been in the hole, he hasn’t been hearing voices. He feels better.

Anmol came late because he had to change his pants. It was a hassle by the Officer, always inconsistent in the dress code. We took advantage of our time. He asked lots of questions on what he should do with the Asian Prisoners Support Committee. I gave him my feedback. He mentioned that S felt that she’s not out getting the support from the people on Mike’s issue on segregation. I understand her frustration. Anmol said that people didn’t understand the issues and it’s hard to go to hearings on a weekday. Anmol told me about the chaotic situation outside with the war. He’s going to the march tomorrow. He thought about how we can get P to tape the radio commentary. He told me this Korean lady Ishle Yi Pak is involved in the committee. He had asked Bao Phi, a Vietnamese poet to perform in the event. He thought of his friend Victor Hwang, who is a lawyer and Yuri’s daughter. They can help me. Let’s see how that turns out. Anmol talks a lot. We had more time to dialogue. I appreciate his help and enthusiasm. I felt good about the future.

I wrote more to the lawyer and sent him my thoughts and update.  I felt tired after dinner so I took a nap. It’s raining at night. The Chinese parade got wet. I didn’t do much except for talking to Ma. I pray that I’ll win in the courts soon. May my friends Liebb be healthy and alert. May my parents, family and friends be well. T got locked up again.

2-14-2003

It’s Valentine’s Day. I kind of forgot about it. I went out to the yard and walked around for a while. H kept talking about his 115 and his worries. I listened to him and gave him my take and told him to exercise his rights. I understood his frustration. The SQ administrators are violating people’s rights.

I went to my visit at 9:30. As soon as I stepped into the room, S showed up. She gave me the great news. She was at Mike’s hearing. Mike won on the appeal exhaust issue. Another hearing is set for April. About 25 people showed up to the court room to give him support. S told me Anmol is coming to see me tomorrow. We had a great conversation/visit. We were out there for an hour and a half. Our relationship had blossomed. I appreciate that connection.

I went out to the yard and did twenty minutes of quick exercise. The basketball hit my face and knocked my glasses to the ground. I came back from yard and found out Mike was transferred on special transportation. I don’t know if I’ll see him again soon. I’m happy that he won and the writ will continued.

I felt sleepy in the afternoon. I asked D to move Ma next door to me so I can help him. He said he’ll move him tomorrow.

I received a letter form J. she sent me a photo of her playing with the snow on the street. She looked so cute. I had to laugh out loud. B wrote in a card and said she’ll try to come see me as soon as she can. I look forward to see her. During the visit with S, I saw KW walked by so I got S to stop him. She almost fell because the chair was in the ray. I had quick reflex and good eyes. I talked to K for about 5 minutes. He said he’ll come see me next Thursday with a draft on the parole writ. I’ll see if he follows through with it.

I got the writ to Cali Supreme court on 115 and other materials from the lawyer. He has been busy and took care of business. He expressed his concerns. I felt that I had put more pressure and burden on him. He has done so much for me. I don’t’ doubt him and his ability to do his best to help me. I trust him.

I ate a delicious dinner, beef with onions, bell pepper over rice. It was good. I gave the lawyer the good news on Mike. He should be happy.

Tu went to ICC this morning and was cut loose back to mainline. He’s happy. I hope they don’t set him up.

I pray that things will work out for all of us in the high courts. Victory is near. My best to all loved ones.

2-13-2003

Mike left for court around 8:30. He looked ready. It’s around 9:30 pm. He’s not back from the court. I don’t know what happened in the court room. Maybe he’s staying in Marin over night or he’s back in Avenal. I’ll have to wait til tmorrow to find out. I want him to spend a few more days with me. I don’t feel sad that he left. He was scheduled for ICC today. I hope Ma’s able to move in next door to me if Mike doesn’t come back.

I received five pieces of letter. I received a letter from Ohio. My adviser told me I have a five months extension. M wrote me and asked for a visiting form. I don’t know why she wants a visiting form all of a sudden. I think she’s approved to see me. We’ll see. J’s letter arrived. She had the big talk with ZY. They’re separating after a few months. I think ZY hasn’t been honest with her about me. He’s jealous that we’re good friends. I can understand that. I hope he doesn’t pull any hanky panky stuff. D sent me a new year’s card. He changed address. He’s still sad from two years ago. He has a new friend now. Lucky sent me a letter and two wedding pictures. His wife looked beautiful in the studio photos. She looked totally different from the ones she took in Beijing. The made over was good. He’s really lucky. He understood how I feel. I like Lucky’s personality. He said D and D are trying to go back to China. They’re talking to the Chinese embassy. I have to think about that. I wrote J back and talked to her about Brazilian Jiujitsu. I wrote to M and sent her a visiting form just in case she’s not approved. I wrote D and gave him an update. I sent G a letter. I didn’t say much. I don’t like the way she does things. I wrote to Ms. Won the attorney. I sent her my article proposal, SF article and the recent board transcript. I asked her to represent me in a 1983 federal lawsuit. Hopefully she’ll take on the case. I have been busy writing letters.

I need to start on the article and other creative writings. Tomorrow is a new day. I feel good about my future. I’m at peace with myself. I didn’t make it to library today. I don’t have anything going. The lawyer is taking care of the appeals to the Supreme Court. I hope he’s well and got some help with copying.

May Mike win in the hearing. May we taste victory after victory soon. Much love to my family and friends.

2-12-2003

It’s holiday today, so the program was changed. Mike went to visit for about three hours. He talked strategy with CC to get ready for tomorrow’s hearing. He’s been going through his documents to prepare for taking the stand. I cooked lunch. He was able to eat right after he came back from the visit.

I wrote eight letters tonight. I wrote to S, E, H, X, R J, R and J. I sent R a birthday card and asked her to take care of my parents. I don’t know when her birthday is, but I sent her the card anyway. She’ll have something to talk about. I wrote to J. He hasn’t written back to me. I know he’s tripping.

The day went by way too quick. I did some yoga before shower. I can do headstand with no problem. I kicked it with Mike some more. He has a mild headache. I got three tv guides to look at. I appreciate it. This might be the last night I’ll be with Mike. I’ll miss him when he goes. We need to win in the hearing tomorrow. It’ll help all of our lawsuits.

May the victory be ours. Mike has the first battle. May he be successful.