Ok 2011 December : EddyZheng.com

12-31-2002

New Year’s eve. Everything seems to be overrated when it doesn’t apply to me. My reality is that I’m locked up in prison, in the hole and don’t know when I’m going to go home. There is a first time for everything. This is my first time spending New Year in the hole. The other times, at least the past 17 years, I had spent in prison. Time went by fast all year and all day.

I finished reading, “One Man’s Bible.” Yard was cancelled due to rescheduled for committee.

I received the denial of my first habeas on transfer. It’s a big blow for us. I was called for library. I saw Stephen briefly, I told him about my writ. He said we’ll go to the court of appeal. I shared with the lawyer how I felt. He filed the 115 appeal writ for me. I know he didn’t like hearing the writ being denied. I had good talk with Mr. J about Beijing. It’s good to be out for some fresh air.

I want to write some reflection, but I decided not to. It’s not important to me as the years go by. I saw Mek and thanked him for looking out.

The day went by fast. I got my old money canteen. I have enough food. I want to embrace the New Year with open mind and heart. The year will bring me my freedom! May I be free.

12-30-2002

I felt sleepy after I got up for breakfast. I don’t know why I felt so tired. After shower, I ate breakfast and went to sleep. That was the morning.

I ate lunch and read the XXL mag. G dropped by briefly. He said the Governor approved a 71 year lifer’s release.

C/O B started a conversation with me during dinner time. He was wondering how I have people all over the world writing to me. He read articles about me. He said that my sentence was too harsh. I know he’s surprised that I have so many friends and felt jealous.

I received letters and cards from friends and family. I got a card from B, Mom with 3 pictures, K and 2 pictures, S, P and G. I love receiving mail.

I wrote to Mom and told her about A’s request for interview. I wrote to B, K and P. S told me about her love life. I have to think to answer her.

The day went by way too fast. I’m almost over with my cold. I need to write and study. May the Gods keep smiling at me and my family.

12-29-2002

The lockdown was lifted and there was yard. I t looked cold out so I was well dressed. I still felt a little sick. The cold didn’t help. I was told that I had a 12:30 visit. I didn’t know who would show up.

I talked to T for a while. He seemed like a cool dude, but still has the gangster mentality. Somehow, I felt he was being dishonest. I walked a little, talked to C/O R about politics, and kicked it with S and C. I didn’t do any exercise because I didn’t feel in shape. I enjoyed being outside. I got a little something for T.

S showed up for the visit. She looked preoccupied. We had a great visit as usual. She hasn’t received my article. She talked to A. I gave her an update on my status. Then she told me about her relationship with D. We talked about love for a few quality minutes. She’s in love with dude based on correspondence. She hasn’t seen dude in three years. I knew there was something going on. I appreciate her sharing. We’ll get into more.

I was tired after the visit. I took a nap. I read and ate dinner. I wrote to S and gave her my feelings of the visit. I wanted to write to J, but I don’t feel like it.

I want to get well so I can work out. I hope all is well with my loved ones and friends.

12-28-2002

I can do time like this if I can go home in a few months. It’s easy when I have the necessities: books, paper, pen, food, and stamps. I don’t miss watching TV or listening to music. Maybe it’s because I don’t’ think about it.

I ate well today. Breakfast and leftover for lunch. I didn’t get a visit so I took a nap. I finished reading Cat and Mouse. It’s entertaining. I’m reading Gao’s book. I like it. However, I need to write creatively and study my correspondence course. I’m being lazy. No excuses.

I wrote a letter to C and expressed myself poetically. I wrote a short letter to MC, X’s Mom. I hope he’ll write me.

T (my neighbor) wrote me a note and called a truce with me because he’s hungry. I don’t mind helping him out, but he’s a manipulator. I’ll treat him accordingly.

I’m getting over this cold. I need to exercise again. May I be well soon.

I thought about the book Odyssey as I was reading the Cat and Mouse book. Then I realized what Dong Xi Feng was hinting by giving me that book to read. I’m expressing the Odyssey. Hopefully my road home is here. I’m at the end of my journey home. I will reach the destination soon. What a metaphor.

12-27-2002

My nose was stuffed up last night. I couldn’t even breathe. I thought it was due to food I ate that had caused it. I had a headache so I took an Aspirin and a DIPHENHYDRAMINE. I went to sleep late, I felt better after I got up.

I was hoping for a visit, but no one came. I read the Dec 23 Chronicle and The Cat and Mouse.

I received a letter from J, a card from M, a card from P and a postcard from Father O. He said that TL is in Avenal. J is going home for x-mas, but she didn’t tell me.

I’m reading Gao’s “A Man’s Bible.” I like his writing so far.

I ate well tonight. I had a spread. I got full. My uso looked out for me. The police came by with rubber mallets to check the bars on second tier.

I’m feeling low, but okay. I don’t trip on too much right now.

12-26-2002

I have a headache. My nose is congested. I’m still feeling sick. My lower back is hurting from sleeping too much. I made a spread and shared with T. I ate a lot. I read.

I went to library. It was raining. I saw the lawyer briefly. I was good to talk to him. I heard the cops are messing with Mike. He might be going to the hole. I got to get some fresh air.

I received a letter from M, Yuri, C, K and MC. I also got a letter from KW. M wanted to come see me, but couldn’t get an appointment. I’m glad that she’s thinking of me. Yuri thanked me for getting the info on E for her. K sent me the articles. C said hi. M sent me a family update letter. It took about 3 months for me to get the letters.

KW sent me back the 115 appeal. He didn’t send it to L as I asked him. The lawyer talked to CC about my issues. I don’t like KW’s inconsistent and nonchalant ways. I wrote to him and told him to help me with the parole situation only. If I get OSC on my writs, I’m asking CC to get appointed. If he doesn’t like it, I’ll fire him.

I wrote to CC and told him my decision. I asked the lawyer to do my writ on the 115. I hope things will work out accordingly.

I wrote to M, Yuri, and K. I’ll write to C and MC Sunday. I have plenty to read. I hope I’ll feel better tomorrow. I got my Harper’s magazine. I feel good receiving some letters today.

May Mike stay strong and wear off the evils. May my family and friends be well. May I be home soon.

12-25-2002

Another day. Feeling cold, hot, congested, tired. Took a pill and went to sleep early. Read and slept all day. Did yoga.

12-24-2002

Christmas Eve. Two years ago at the same date I got out of the hole. This time I have no idea how much longer I have to stay here. I don’t really think about it too much. I do what I can to stay focused on now. How am I able to survive this period in the hole? It’s easy. I let go of what I can’t control. It’s difficult to do. Age does help a person see the world differently.

I got some much needed sleep to get better from the cold. I feel better now.

I received a letter from Wilma Chan saying she can’t help me. I got stamped copy on request for extension. The mailroom opened it accidently.

I read all day. It’s just another day.

12-23-2002

I’m not feeling well. It’s been chilly and somehow I’m coming down with something. I showered and took a nap.

I received my canteen today. Now I’m stocked up for X-mas.

G dropped by and told me Yuri called him. That’s cool. He told me about the excellent Chinese restaurant on Embarcadero “Slanted Door.” He promised he’ll take me there for dinner after I get out.

I received the stamped copy of the Informal Reply from Marin. It was filed 12/20. The lawyer did a great job as usual. He sent me a copy and notes. I appreciate the people who signed the declarations on my status on the mainline.

I messed up in ICC by telling them that I didn’t have to exhaust my appeal in the Director’s level. I can’t afford to make any more mistakes.

I wrote to KW again. He has not responded to me. I hope he had sent the 115 appeal to the lawyer. If not, I might have to consider firing him. I asked him to come see me, write to CSR to appeal my transfer and to BPT. I hope he’ll handle my business.

I got the December Coastal Post. H still sends it to me monthly. I’ve been reading the “Simple Truth” by David Baldacci. I like it.

I didn’t do any study. I haven’t been exercising either. I need to shape up.

12-22-2002

My neighbors are flooding their cells. T and other were taunting JH who would respond by saying, “shut up you nigger bitch, lay your pussy down.” Those people have no respect for themselves.

I’m staying up later than usual to read. The building has been quiet at night lately. I slept in the morning until the search team came in to search the building. I have too much stuff for them to look through so they left after taking some paper bags. We’re still on lockdown.

I read Harper’s mag. I started reading a courtroom drama book. I wrote a few lines to ZY in an autumn card. He’ll be surprised to hear from me. He probably looks at me as his rival .Oh well. I’m in a way. I haven’t event try yet.

I wrote to J and talked to her about my childhood school mates. I set her my biographic poem. I don’t think I had sent it to her or she would’ve commented on it.

I need to start studying or writing. I hope all is working out accordingly for me and my friends.

12-21-2002

I slept in again and finished reading the Sun magazine. I ate a lot, but I was craving some sweets. I lay around all day. I did go out for shower. I talked to T for a minute and gave him a set of thermal and some toothpaste.

The dope fiends are nicking for tobacco. It was going for 1 for 3 (One pouch of tobacco for three books of stamps.) It’s outrageous. Most people are out of tobacco, the one who has, made a killing.

I didn’t do much all day. I was hoping for a visit, but I didn’t get one. It’ll be another week before I may get one. I need to study my course material. May this just be a phase. I have to get creative. There has to be an urgency to do it. I can’t keep wasting time and making excuses for myself. I don’t want to think too much so I can deal with this time in the hole. It’ll feel strange for me to be in a new prison. I have to be patient and wait.

12-20-2002

It’s lockdown time so no yard. I slept in the morning and read. I finished reading the Odyssey. I saw the movie, but I like the reading.

I received the Director’s level appeal on my Ad Seg lockup. It was denied as expected. I don’t know if I should pursue it in the court since I have the issue covered in the writs. I’ll wait.

I didn’t hear from KW at all and I don’t like it. At least he should acknowledge me. I have no communication with my lawyer. I didn’t feel like doing much.

12-19-2002

The storm is raging once again. There’s wind, rain, lightning and thunder. I hope the weather will get better tomorrow in case S decides to come visit me. I don’t want her to come in such nasty weather. It’s been gloomy all day.

I slept in. I didn’t feel like studying or be creative. That’s not good, but I got to do something about it. I read some magazine stories. I received a postcard from A that was sent 12/3. She liked what I had to say during the parole hearing. She wants to interview Sis and my parents in the next month or so for the documentary. I wrote her back and thanked her.

I wrote to M and told her what happened with my parole hearing. I sent F a bday card. I wrote S a letter, but I decided not to get involve with her situation and threw the letter away.

G came by to visit. He told me about the Rosencraze decision. It’s not good for the lifers. G wrote letter to the Governor and expressed his feelings on his no parole policy.

The lockdown ruined all the scheduled programs. I got a postcard from O. The cop gave it to the wrong cell. I’m glad I got it back. She sent it from India. She was there traveling and attending a conference on human rights. I’m sure she’s back in Hong Kong now. It’s great to hear from her. I knew she’s away from her place since I didn’t hear from her.

There will be no yard for another week due to the institution lockdown. I have to exercise inside. May all beings be well.

12-18-2002

The rumor is that the prison will be on lockdown until Monday. The administration is milking the incident of attempted escape. Someone dropped a note.

I slept in again and had REM moments. A few guys were yelling on the top of their lungs early in the morning. I had to put my earplugs on. I read newspaper and book in the afternoon. R went to Security West so he can go to East Block, anything to get some smoke and hot food.

I received the letter from Mom telling me she’ll visit. It took over three weeks. I received a letter from EB and a postcard of Chinatown. It’s a surprise to hear from him. He wrote the letter as he said he would. I wrote a few people and sent them Christmas cards. I wrote to Mon, EB, A, S, C, R, CC, and A. I expressed my appreciation for their support of me. My nights are usually spent on writing letters.

I read the article a few more times. I like how it turned out. I hope C will send it to S right away. I wonder what’s up with KW. He needs to get busy with my appeal.

May my family and friends be well, especially those who are struggling.

12-17-2002

The yard was cancelled due to an institutional lockdown. I was ready for yard after a healthy breakfast. I went back to sleep since I didn’t sleep well last night. The storm let up and it was nice outside.

I didn’t do my studies as I should have. I read instead. I’m behind on reading my magazines. I went to library and made copies and did research. I had deadlines. I talked to B for a little. I met a Vietnamese due V. I didn’t see the lawyer. I didn’t hear from the court on my relief. I got my article back. It was typed and edited. They lawyer did an excellent job. I have much to learn to become a better writer.

I wrote to CC and sent him the article. He’ll forward it accordingly. I wrote to G and gave her a head’s up on A. I sent J a Christmas card. I wrote to KW, S, S, SB, D and KA. I sent KA a Spanish poem and the SF article. Hopefully I can get my writings published in a chapbook.

I need to do some exercise in the cell to stay in shape. I’ve been lazy since there’s no yard. Things will be all right in no time. I have faith all will work out.

12-16-2002

I slept in this morning. I had a dream that involved P and Dad. I called somewhere, P answered the phone and told me that he gave money to Dad to make a ring for me. I don’t know what that meant.

There was a big storm last night. The wind must’ve been blowing about 60 miles per hour. The power went out for a few hours this morning. I read the Odyssey for a while. I didn’t feel like doing anything else.

I received a letter from Judge A granting all of my extensions to reply to the AG. The AG asked and was granted an extension. January will be the month things unfold.

I received a big envelop from J. she sent me a China Daily, two Beijing Weekly and four letters. It took 3 weeks for me to get it. She told me she’s learning Jiujisu. What a coincident. What stood out most was her telling me that she told A that she fell in love with me. I couldn’t believe that she felt that way. A had asked her if she’s in love with me. After she saw the way J treated me. J fell in love with me during our correspondence, but she was afraid to tell me. She has had a better understand about love. She loves me, but she’s not in love with me. I feel the same way. I don’t know what will happen in the future. I just go with the flow. I wrote her back and expressed how I felt on the topic. I also gave her A’s info as requested. I hope she doesn’t trip on my responses. ZY even asked her about whether she’s in love with me. May she be happy in her environment right now. I need to get some writings done.

12-15-2002

The wind is howling outside. No rain in sight yet. However, this morning was wet. I went to yard hoping to enjoy the air and exercise. After an hour or so, it started dripping. Then it turned into pouring rain. It was cold and wet. I had a chance to talk to L about the system and his attitude. He listened to me intently. I was getting through to him with sandwich methods of criticism and encouragement. I enjoyed talking to him.

I came back and had a great lunch. I read the magazine and took note on different exercises. Then I wrote KW a letter and sent him my post board decision. I hope he handled business and send SL the appeal denial

I wrote to A and gave her a run down on my possibilities. I thanked her for being a great friend and gave her some contact information of other friends. I hope she will take care of business for me. She has good intention like many of my friends. I need her to follow through.

My thoughts go out to all my friends and my family. May they be blessed with love and strength and health. May I be free soon.

12-14-2002

It wasn’t raining in the morning. D told me I had a 11 o’clock visit. I wondered who’s coming to see me. I drank a big cup of Cadillac and read the Sun. I showered and felt good.

I waited for a while before A showed up. I thought no one would show up again. She said they made her take all her clothes off and that’s why she was late. I told her I wished I was there and got her laughing. I wasn’t focused and engaged throughout the visit because I worried about the time. My nose was sniffing due to the stuffy room. A told me that she had meet with Yuri, S and M about doing an event in February. They brainstormed on how to help us and what focus to take. A wants to help me get out of prison. She doesn’t know Mike and Rico. She’s willing to work with them. Folks from Asian Resource Center wanted to get involved. She talked about the youth wanting to take a stance on the immigrant issue. She asked me to write something. She also wanted to know about any legal battles of Ad Seg. If I get an evidentiary hearing, she will bring all the kids to show support. I hope that’ll happen. She talked about her job, family and her experience with the dude who cheated her. I want to help her, but felt it’s better to let her handle it. I will be her ears and give her support. I was able to express my appreciation for her. She watched me put on my jacket and beanie and whispered that I look good. As I get ready to leave, she blew me a kiss. The Sergeant made a big deal because I took time to say good bye. He threated that I will not be able to visit if I delay it again. I didn’t like his attitude.

It started to rain as I walked back to my cell. I wish I had more time with A. I didn’t like that we can’t get comfortable and talk. I hate feeling restricted. I like it that A cares so deeply about me, but I need her to be more responsible and consistent. We’ll have to talk about that. I wanted to write to her right away, but decided not to.

I read the book Wholes Son by Donald Goines all afternoon and night. I was able to write to the lawyer. I had a good chat with D. He’s cool. I have plenty to do.

Mom turns 67 today. May she be healthy and happy. I hope the Gods will continue to watch over her and bless her. I will be out to take care of her. May the spirit show me the way.

12-13-2002

Mr. K dropped by early to check on my studies. I told him about my status. He’s happy that I started the lessons. Selfish motives? I want to study and review the lessons, but I didn’t get far. I read the Odyssey for a while. Then I read the blender.

G came by. We had good conversation on politic and the community workshop he attended.

I received a letter from P. She sent me some pictures of animals. I appreciate her for checking in with me

I got my 115 appeal back. It’s denied I truly hope the court will dismiss it. It’s totally bogus. I couldn’t make copies tonight. I sent it to KW. I asked him to send the original to my lawyer. He has to decide if he’s going to want to file the writ for me or take care of the Ad Seg issue. I hope to see him next week.

I wrote to S and told her I couldn’t send the article to her as she expected. It’s still being edit. I shared the passing out of baggies story with her. I sent K a letter.

I asked C/O T whether he had inventoried my property. He said it’s still sitting in the property room. He said he heard that I’ll be going back to the mainline. I double checked with him. He said that’s what he had heard. I wish it’s true, but I would bet against it. However, deep inside there is a tiny bit of hope that I would.

The Gods are in control. I just go with the plan. May my friends be well.

2-11-2002

It’s a down day. I rested and read the play by Gao Xin Jian. The play is like Greek mythology. I liked it. I’m glad I read it. I want to read his other writings.

I didn’t do much because my light bulbs were out. It got fixed tonight after I told the captain. He took care of business. I wrote to KW and asked him to come visit me. I want to see if he’s willing to take over my writs. I wrote to P and asked her about publishing my writings. She might have some ideas. She wants t be my editor if I write a book. I wrote to S and told her about my visit and writing. I wrote to O in bilingual. She’ll be happy to hear from me.

I didn’t get any mail today. I don’t’ know what they’re doing with my 115 appeal. Hopefully they’re not trying some more underhand stuff.

May I be protected from any more harm. I need to get productive.

12-10-2002

Yard was cancelled. I got a chance to catch up on some sleep. I got the writing done this morning. I didn’t feel that the article was well written because I rushed it. Hopefully I’ll be able to get some critique before I send it out.

I went to the library and did my research and copies. On the way back, I saw some church people were passing out little bags of shampoo, soap and a bible to prisoners. What a way to force religion on people! I was able to talk to L briefly. He offered to help me, but I didn’t need anything from him. It was good seeing L as usual.

I received the A.G’s request for extension on the writ 3. I received letters from P, K, P and PC. I also got some Christmas cards from the chapel I was late after I got back from library. I wrote to A and told her what happened with me. I sent Mom a bday card. It was a surprise to hear from PC. He wanted to interview me, visit me or have me call him. I wrote him back and sent him a visiting form. Let’s see how that turns out. The Guardian read and liked my article. He’s been helpful. K sent me a couple of wedding pictures. She looked happy.

I was tired so I turned in early.

12-9-2002

The light was dimmed, but my spirit was high. I was determined to finish my article because I had put off it too long. So I stayed up until two in the morning and write. I didn’t finish until this morning. It was difficult for me to write. I got spoiled of having a computer and word processor to do my writing. My concentration was off. I know the writing needs editing. Hopefully I’m not too far off.

I received the injunctions filed in Marin. The A.G. filed the reply on the First Informal response. It denied any violation of course. Hopefully the judge will look at all the evidence and rule in our favor.

I finally received the poem S sent me. P did a great job with the poem from knowing me only a short period. He has a good heart. Say wrote me a support letter with the help of MW. I appreciate his effort. He’s moved back with his Mom. I wrote to A and gave her an update. I shot Say a few lines and encouraged him to do good.

I had a productive day.

12-8-2002

The mornings are freezing. I went to the yard. There are six people left on the yard. S trimmed my hair for me. No one knows how to cut my hair after H left. I’ll have to wait. It was freezing. We played a game of basketball and shot around. C and I did 10 Brown Eagle. I was able to do 6 straight. C gave me his hook up so we can keep in touch. I like him because we were able to be honest with each other.

I came back and had lunch. My light started to blink. It bothered me. I wrote four letters. I sent K an issue of the Sun. I wrote to S, R, and P. then I spent time to write the article. I hope I can finish it and send it out this week. I’m having a hard time writing it.

My days are flying. However, things are uncertain. I’ll get some news this week about my legal issues. May all my loved ones be well. I had a good day.

12-7-2002

As expected I was told that I have a visit at 11. After I took a shower I started on writing my article. I was only able to write a few lines. It’s different to get a flow going. Then I went to my visit.

I was out there at about 10:35. Mom and Dad showed up at 11:05. I was glad that they made it on time. We were happy to see each other for the first time in 6 months. They commented on my hair first, then my face. Mom said I looked good. We talked about everything. I was able to talk to Dad for a while. He spoke about the unfairness of the law and system, especial the governor. He was venting and criticizing him. He said he didn’t vote for Davis. He said he had changed his mind about the law in America. He used to think that I must have done something wrong that’s why I didn’t get out. Now he’s aware of the politics and the flawed law. I felt good seeing and listening to him. He was visually upset that I’m still being kept in prison. Mom said Dad finally woke up and realized the truth. I appreciate his sharing. Mom thought that I only had an hour to visit so she kept fighting for the phone with Dad to talk to me. Dad kept hushing her off so he could talk to me. He was very animated. I enjoyed our dialogue. Mom’s leg joint is bothering her. She has health problems. I hope she can take better care of herself. Mom told me everything that she could think of about the family. We laughed a lot.

I had to go the restroom and Mom saw me being handcuffed for the first time. She didn’t like it, but she dealt with it all right. I made sure she’s not tripping. We had two and a half hours of visit. They told me as long as I get out, they’ll take care of the rest. I’m aware that they’re getting older. Dad looked better than Mom. I know the Gods will look out for them. Everyone is doing well. I felt good seeing them. Mom said she sent the money to M. The mail is slow.

I came back and ate lunch. I spent the rest of the day writing my article. I got stuck for a while. I did get some paragraphs done. I want to finish it ASAP. I don’t know how I’m going to end it. I’ll have to get it done.

It’s been a productive day. God bless my parents.

12-6-2002

I was wondering if I would get a visit from S before I went to the yard. Then I was told that I have a visit at 8:00. I didn’t know if it was S or A since it was so early. I thought if I was S, she’s spoiling me. I start looking forward to see her. S came up around 8 and stayed until 9:20. I told her that she’s spoiling me. She thanked me for giving her the opportunity. She visited W. He sent his love. I told her in detail about the hearing. She’s supportive of me as usual. We always have great conversations. We talked about how people, friends and family are okay with them helping prisoners, but reject them for having relationships. We didn’t have a chance to explore the topic in detail. She’s leaving for Oregon to see her parents. I’ll see her when she comes back. I told her I’ll have the article waiting for her.

I went to yard and talked to D for an hour. We hit off well. I spent the rest of the day writing the article. I’m making progress, but it’s slow. I’m shooting to finish it tomorrow.

My lights went out by the bed. I have a hard time seeing. I received some magazines. The Sun magazine arrived. I’ll send one to K.

KW sent me the two support letters and a note. My lawyer sent me my legal work back and his feelings on the different writs. He’s doing a great job. He’s very encouraging and optimistic. I appreciate that. May he be right. I pray that Mike and Rico are well and take care of business. God bless.

12-5-2002

I spent the day attempting to write the article, but I couldn’t do much. I did manage to write a few paragraphs. My deadline will be on Saturday. I’ll do my best to get it done so I can get it edit and print.

I took time to write to P, A, M and R. I had to rushed K’s letter because the guard picked up mail early, I sent her no redemption. I did not waste my time today.

This week went by pretty fast. I got things to do and battles to fight. I hope I’ll be able to stay focused. May the great spirit guide me to the right direction.

12-4-2002

It was a day of rest. I’d planned to write my article, but I was only able to do some brainstorm. I didn’t feel confident on how to write it. I just have to do it. I decided to write letters to let people know about my hearing. I wrote to S, B, C, G, and C I had to repeat myself many times. I still have more to write.

I received a letter from K. She sent me the program for the wedding mass. I recognized a couple of songwriters. She expressed her thoughts on the ugly side effects created by US tourism. She’s being critical. I wrote her back and told her what happened with my struggles.

I got the stamped copy of my latest writ. I was right about the delay. The mailroom didn’t think it was legal mail at a glance. I feel good about myself.

I haven’t look at my Statistic since I sent my first assignment out. I’ll need an extension for sure.

May I be able to complete my article by Sunday. May the Gods keep smiling and blessing me and my loved ones.

12-3-2002

The past few mornings have been cold until the sun came out. I walked around the yard to warm up, but my hands were red from the cold. C and I did Brown Eagle to get a quick pump. We were able to do 5 sets straight instead of 10. It’s different than doing one exercise at a time. The mixture of 3 exercises without getting up takes a lot of shoulder strength. I felt good after the exercise. I talked to J for a while. He’s sympathetic about my parole situation.

G dropped by before I went to the library. I told him what happened with the hearing. He was happy for me. He told me his observation of N.

The mainline is on quarantine because of Chicken Pox. I wrote to the lawyer. Hopefully he’ll give me some feedback soon. I told the librarian what happened. I talked to a couple of condemn guys there, R and V.

I received the AG’s request for extension approval. I have until 2/7/03 to reply. I wrote to A, Fr. O, Yuri, Mom and sent a bday card to J. I told them about my hearing

I was able to talk to Mom on the phone. She’s scheduled to see me Saturday. She realized that she hasn’t seen me for almost 6 months. I was good talking to her. Alton said hi. Sis is in Hawaii with her family, I’m glad she has a chance to relax and spend some time with N and A.

I got a postcard from Fr. O. He just wanted to acknowledge my poems. I have to get busy the next two days with writing. May I be motivated to write. I have to do it for us.

I still feel peaceful. I’m grateful for my spiritual and emotional state. I saw a few guys while under escort. R to me that KK got his date back. That’s great for him. I hope he gets out soon.

May all my friends be safe and well, especially Rico and Mike. May the Gods continue to look out for me and my family.

12-2-2002

It’s been a long day. I got up debating whether I should shower or not. I recited my closing statement. Then I decided to shower. I was ready for the parole hearing.

I felt peaceful inside. I read the newspaper, took a nap, recited the closing a couple of times. I remembered a song about peace and love. I sang that for a few times and felt peace. I mediated and did the fire of breath. I made myself lunch. Finally, at around 12:30, Officer E escorted me to the board room.

The officer in the broad room asked what was I doing in Ad Seg. They were shocked to see me there. I waited in a 2 x 3 cage. CS was there for his hearing. We talked briefly. He came out after 40 minutes. He just hopes he doesn’t get a two years denial. I talked to him about his health and other topic. I talked to his attorney AS for a few minutes.  It took a while for the deliberation. I told CS that he’ll either get a date or a split decision. I found out later on he got a split decision. Good for him.

I talked to my attorney KW at about 3:10. We went over the 115 issue and my request for postponing the hearing pending appeal. We agreed that we’re ready. He was dressed sharp in his suit.

The camera crew showed up. We were mic. Around 3:45, we stated the hearing. I’d never seen the commissioners Mr. R and Deputy Commissioner L. We went through our normal procedures. Then got into my crime. Mr. R didn’t ask me too many questions. I did my best to talk about the crime and expressed my remorse. I was thrown off by their lack of questioning. Mr. L went into the self-help and my 115. He harped on the 115. I explained to him my version of the situation. KW asked for a postponement if they’re going to use the 115 to deny my parole. They didn’t go for it. We talked about my parole plan and support. I had 27 support letters. However, they didn’t want to read them into the record. I asked them to do so, but Mr. R refused. KW did a great job on the closing statement. He made sure to state the legal aspect of their decision cannot base on my crime. He covered what the board neglected to mentioned. I made my statement. I felt rehearsed and stiff until the end. I was able to cover all that I wanted to say. I got choked up at the last couple of sentences. We stopped for deliberation.

The commissioners asked to use the phone. Five minutes later, they were ready for a decision. They decided to continue the hearing until my appeal on the 115 is finalized. Mr. L felt that it was an important factor in deciding my suitability. They’ll probably see me in about 2 months. That’s a good sign. It’s what I wanted at first. It’s a small victory for me. By the time I go back, the 115 should get dismissed. Maybe a couple of my Ad Seg issues will be heard by then. My lawyer will be happy. I asked KW if he will help me with my Ad Seg issues. He said yes. I’ll have to confer with my friend first.

Officer D gave me a rundown on what he thought about my hearing. He was very observant. I got back to the cell around 5:45. I felt good and a little excited about my chances and my future. I want to be home next year. I couldn’t eat my dinner right away because I was pumped.

I received a letter from the Attorney General asking for a 45 days extension on the second order dealing with my Ad Seg detainment. I got my Harper’s magazine for December. I didn’t get my November issue.

I wrote to J and told her what happened. I sent a bday card to Alton. He won’t be able to read it, but his Mom will read it. I hope she appreciates my gesture to reach out to Alton. I wrote to KW and gave him some information I got from the C/O. He’ll be glad to hear that. I wrote to A and thanked her and her crew for being there. I’m sure she’ll let G know what had transpired. I wrote to Mom, but it was too late to send the letter out. I asked KW to call Sis. She’ll tell Mom what happened.

I thank all the Gods, people and spirits who are looking out for me. All the prayers paid off. I shall be released.

12-1-2002

The night before the big day – my parole hearing. There will be drama. There will also be many people praying for me. I’m ready for whatever the outcome. I don’t feel nervous right now. I recited the closing statement for a few times. I will do my best to respond to all questions in detail.

I went to the yard. It was cold out. I played some basketball and did 5 Brown Eagle exercises. I felt good. I ate and took a nap. I’m going to relax tonight.

May my future be bright and may I be home soon. All praise to the creator.